its not stalking. its research.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
