Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
