you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
this hospital has no fireball
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
