You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
