When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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