I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
