Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
