is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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