do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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