two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
