i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
