Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
