I just made out with a guy for $7.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
