Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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