I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
