Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
