Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize