Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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