I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize