so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
