just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
