Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
