Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize