If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
