would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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