why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
