Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
