She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
