youre lurking in front of me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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