Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
