i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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