The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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