I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
