just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
