Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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