just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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