When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
