im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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