Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
