...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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