fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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