So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
