I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
