I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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