I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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