oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
