It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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