i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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