Betty ford says i'm here all night
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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