I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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