i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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