Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
