Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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