when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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