so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
