I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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